Relationship thoughts from the left side of the brain.

    Surely, true love requires more than 3 reasons, you may be thinking. I must be oversimplifying things. Maybe I've never really been in love and I have no idea what I'm talking about, or perhaps I'm just a lunatic. Well, you're certainly entitled to your opinion, but please hear me out before you jump to conclusions. By the time you have finished reading this article, I hope to convince you that, in fact, there are only 3. I know you're dying of curiosity, so let's just get right to the point, shall we?

    The first reason to love someone is because of who they are. Of the three reasons, this one is probably the most obvious. We are naturally drawn to those who possess qualities that are important to us. Physical appearance, money, and lifestyle might be important factors for many. Others may place a higher value on thoughtfulness, affection, or intelligence. The list, of course, goes on and on.

    The second reason to love someone is because of who they are not. We've all been in situations where some fairly distinct personality flaws have been prominently exhibited by those around us from time to time. Who hasn't at some point elbowed their significant other to say, “I'm soooo glad you're not like THAT!” Some of the more common traits in this category might be unfaithfulness, freeloading, or lack of personal hygiene.

    The third reason to love someone is despite who they are. No one is perfect. If it doesn't bother you that your girlfriend clips her toenails in the kitchen while cooking dinner, you might be a redneck or you might be in love—perhaps both. Is it acceptable to be seen with a boyfriend who actually goes out in public wearing jeans and Nikes with argyle socks? Bottom line is, of all the things that are annoying about someone, which ones are acceptable, which ones are deal-breakers, and which ones can be negotiated or changed?

    I believe that true love consists of these three key reasons to love someone. If I can say that I love someone for all three reasons, and I can articulate specific qualities in each of these categories, then I have a good understanding of what is most important to me. Please understand, however, that I'm not suggesting that it is necessary to create a master checklist before the next date. If the list is miles long, one may never find true happiness. After all, no one will completely measure up to a wish list that's too specific. However, it is important to understand those traits, qualities, or values that are not negotiable. We all probably have some non-negotiable items in each of the three categories I described above. Spending time with people who meet these basic criteria often makes interesting things happen. Sometimes strengths in some areas make weaknesses in other areas less offensive. Things we never imagined we could tolerate suddenly become acceptable because of the unique combination of strengths that another person brings to the relationship. Also remember that just as important as finding someone who meets my key criteria is making sure that I am lovable, too. We all have positive qualities, but which ones are the ones I want someone to love me for? Are those qualities most evident? Which of my less desirable traits can I improve upon?

    If all this seems too confusing or analytical, just remember that there are only three reasons to love someone. With that in mind, I need to go buy some new socks.

    當(dāng)然，你可能會(huì)想，真正愛(ài)情的理由不止3個(gè)。我必是把事情過(guò)于簡(jiǎn)單化了�；蛟S我從沒(méi)有愛(ài)過(guò)，對(duì)于我要談?wù)摰氖虑橐粺o(wú)所知，或者我就是個(gè)瘋子。是的，你可以這么想，但是，在你得出結(jié)論前，請(qǐng)聽我說(shuō)。當(dāng)你讀完這篇文章的時(shí)候，我希望使你相信，事實(shí)上，只有3個(gè)原因。我知道你十分好奇，那么就讓我們進(jìn)入正題。

    愛(ài)上某人的第一個(gè)原因是他是某種人。三個(gè)原因中，這一個(gè)可能是最明顯的了。有些人擁有某些對(duì)我們來(lái)說(shuō)很重要的品質(zhì)，我們自然就傾向于他。對(duì)于許多人來(lái)說(shuō)外表，金錢和生活方式可能是比較重要的因素。另外一些人更看重思想，感情或者才智。當(dāng)然，我還可以列舉很多。

    愛(ài)上某人的第二個(gè)原因是因?yàn)樗麄儾皇悄撤N人。我們都處在這樣一種境遇中，我們周圍的一些人總在非常明顯的暴露他們獨(dú)特的人格缺陷。那些在任何時(shí)刻都認(rèn)為自己很重要的人會(huì)說(shuō)：我真高興你不是那樣的人。這類人的普遍特征就是他們不真誠(chéng)，愛(ài)占小便宜，或者不講衛(wèi)生。

    愛(ài)上某人的第三個(gè)原因是不管他們是怎樣的人。人無(wú)完人。如果你不介意你的女朋友一邊在廚房里做飯，一邊剪指甲，你不是鄉(xiāng)下人就是愛(ài)上了她，亦或兩者都是。你是否介意和穿著牛仔褲耐克鞋配菱形花紋襪子的男友一起出現(xiàn)在公共場(chǎng)合？ 底線就是，這個(gè)人身上所有令人厭惡的東西中，哪些是可以接受的？哪些是不能接受的，哪些是可以忽略的或者可以改變的？

    我相信真正的愛(ài)情包括這個(gè)關(guān)鍵因素。如果我能說(shuō)我愛(ài)上某人是由于這三個(gè)原因，如果我能清楚地說(shuō)出這三種原因各自的特征，那我就能很好的理解對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)什么才是最重要的。請(qǐng)諒解，我不是建議說(shuō)在下次約會(huì)開始之前有必要先準(zhǔn)備一張清單。如果這張清單有幾英里長(zhǎng)，你可能永遠(yuǎn)都找不到真愛(ài)。畢竟，沒(méi)有人能完全符合一張?jiān)敿?xì)的愿望清單。但是卻很有必要了解這些特性，特征和價(jià)值，這些是不允許討價(jià)還價(jià)的。對(duì)于我上述的三個(gè)原因，其中可能都有一些我們不允許討價(jià)還價(jià)的因素。與符合這些基本標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的人度過(guò)一段時(shí)光通常會(huì)發(fā)生很多有趣的事情。有時(shí)，有些領(lǐng)域的優(yōu)勢(shì)使其他方面的劣勢(shì)不那么突出了。有些我們認(rèn)為無(wú)法忍受的事情突然變得可以接受了，因?yàn)榱硪粋�(gè)人給你們的關(guān)系中帶來(lái)了優(yōu)勢(shì)的獨(dú)特聯(lián)系。請(qǐng)記住，找到滿足我主要標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的人的同時(shí)，也是確保我也是可愛(ài)的。我們都有優(yōu)點(diǎn)，但是哪些是我希望別人也承認(rèn)的優(yōu)點(diǎn)？那些品質(zhì)是顯而易見的么？哪些地方我還需要改進(jìn)？

    如果這些看起來(lái)太困惑或是太理論化，請(qǐng)記住愛(ài)上某人只有3種原因。記住了那些，我需要加倍努力了。